The Traveller’s Rest- The Light at the End of the Tunnel is a Train.

The Only Way Out Is The Only Way In.

There is hope! I write this blog today to give hope to all those who have entered into the place outside the four walls. Those who have maybe felt like they’ve hit the wall or even had the walls fall on top of them. For those who have been criticised, ostracised, maligned, misunderstood, rejected, isolated, misquoted, marginalised. Those who feel disorientated or afraid or even feel that the cave or wilderness is the end of the story. Those who have lost identity or are afraid of the lack of doing stuff. Those that feel guilty for not gathering and those who are trying to make something happen or want something to happen. Those that feel the pull to go back and even those that gave in to the gravitational pull of what they knew before. The disorientated and the disillusioned. The angry with people, the angry with God people. The lost, the lonely, the shunned. There is a future. There is an emerging something that often looks like nothing. You are not on your own there are hundreds, if not thousands like you. Those words seem lifeless at the dark times, but hang in there. There is nowhere else to hang but in there. Going back is not only not the answer but really it is not the option, and you really know that. Standing (or sitting0 where I am today I realise afresh that so much that I strived for, lived for, worked for, gave myself to, was worthless compared to where I am today. There is a way out, but it is the way in. There is light at the end of the tunnel, and as songwriter Whitey wrote, it is probably just a train. There is a new abode, a new dwelling place, a place of life, hope, peace, freedom, joy, challenge, fear, pain, Presence. The place we find ourselves, the place we try and escape from looking for the way out to the light again, is often the place of greatest Light. The place of creativity being reborn. The place where dreams and visions are poured out. The place where earthquakes and fires and wind no longer impress, but there is a voice. If I am still enough I can hear it. If I look hard enough I can see it. Once I learned to rest in the place where I am now it just appears. it is like adjusting the eyesight when found in a place of dusk, after a while the eyes refocus and sight is slowly restored. Where you find yourself now is probably the place of greatest treasure, you just need to open your eyes and see, listen and hear, rest and stop striving to create another model of something. The Creator is creating something deep inside the deep places of our hearts. The running away becomes the place of running towards. When the tunnel is embraced you discover the road was there all along, it is the Way. Those busy creating models are the most lost, they are attempting to create situations that embrace God’s presence and people, whereas those things existed anyway without the models. They become replacements for the real thing. To be where you are took courage, to remain may take even more courage, but courage is often stumbling into something with a nervous heart, not having a clue where you are going, or where you will end up. To just accept that we are already there releases so much baggage. Does that mean we are not walking towards something? No. But the walk is the key not where we are walking to. When you just look at the destination you miss women standing at a well by the side of you, you miss Eunuchs in deserts reading Scripture. Everyday we take a step out of bed is a day of incredible possibility. This is not to knock those that gather and say I have found a better way. I have just found the Way, a person, a companion, a life. Hold onto love and hope.

Liquid Living.

Talking to a friend yesterday that I had not seen for a while was sharing about our lives and journeys. Both very much walking outside the box but in very different ways. Helen reminded me about when I first started sharing about the liquid expression of walking with God, and it was strange to think when I spoke those words I was still a Pastor trying to build something, a fresh radical expression of church life. Thinking I would still be in leadership or even a prophetic voice to the nations. Changing church to make it look more liquid and still being constrained form really be fluid. My deconstruct was not really a choice, I more fell into or was forced into it. Thought God would look after me with conferences, dates, travels. What happened? Complete close down. All I could see was the darkness of the tunnel. What I did not realise was the tunnel was really an aqueduct teaming with life. There was light at the end of the tunnel and it was a train carrying me into a fluid realm, a holy realm. Earth full of the particles of heaven and heaven full of the particles of earth. Each day was full of the divine embrace. Helen said that seeing me walk into this fully convinced her that I really was prophetic, and made her revisit what I had spoken over her life. My words were not convincing but the cave, the wilderness, the liquid life lived outside the confines, that spoke volumes. While I was groping around looking for some shallows to get my feet back on the ground, the swirls of life were rippling out a message in itself so powerful. Something clicked inside. God had said to me all those years ago to stop giving the prophecy and start living the prophecy. Since that time I have not given many prophetic words, into the Nation or personally, but I have lived. Each breath a message being heard by others. Each whisper a word of life. Each sigh and gasp for air a source of hope. There may be some looking waiting for the fruit of where I am, after all no fruit means I have made a right balls up of my life. This Eden is full of fruit. Not of the knowledge of good and evil, but of life, living, dwelling, being, abiding. There is a tabernacle together. He is the treasure of greatest price, why are so many looking for something else. He is here right now in this flowing, fluid life. I have nothing to show but my life, not even a drum like the little drummer boy, just my life. But that is all He ever wanted. The tunnel maybe is not really a tunnel at all if we would just stop, look, listen. There is a light that never goes out. It may sometimes look more like a shadow, but have you ever tried to gaze at the brightness of the brightest light, it is blindingly black and it obscures the site, but when the eyes adjust. What a vision!!! This river is teeming with life. This truly is the place of hope. Keep living, keep breathing, keep loving. Today truly is the day of salvation.

I thought things had changed
I thought things looked plain
I thought I could see the light

But now, now I know
I saw the distant glow
I heard a distant whistle blow

I just could not decide
and all my shots went wide
I’d waited for that light so long

But now, now I know
I saw the distant glow
I heard a distant whistle blow

(Whitey “The Light at the End of the Tunnel is a Train”)

 

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