The Barred Ba(r)d Bard.

On Saturday evening I narrated some self written poetry for the first time for ages at a Nothing Cheesy local talent evening. Thought I’d share it with you in written form. Not pretending to be the latest Pam Ayres or Shakey but in believing for the day of the bards to come forth once again here we go;

More Than…

God is more than a genie in a bottle

He is more than a slot machine

He is more than a Father Christmas

He is more than a Mr Bean

God is more than our happiest memory

He is more than a panoramic view

He is more than the deepest of space

He is more than what I think is true

God is more than our greatest love affair

He is more than our deepest joy

He is more than a party atmosphere

He is more than our favourite childhood toy

God is more than the greatest physician

He is more than the brilliance of the mind

He is more than the funniest comedian

He is more than any left behind

God is more than my theology

He is more than what I see

He is more than the greatest sermon

This more abides in me.

Jesus Did Some Strange Things

Jesus did some strange things while walking through the land

He often spoke to strangers and touched unholy hands

He let his friends pick food on Sabbaths and eat without a wash

He told stories about farm lands while the religious spouted tosh

To a woman caught in a bed of sin he just scribbled on the ground

His church was the open air and his pulpit was a mound

He cast demons into pigs and spat in a man’s eyes

He upset holy people and for the bound he loosened ties

He sat and ate with tax men while covered in perfume

The wages of a dubious life that filled up the whole room

He always gave us questions when an answer would really do

And when at a party he would make more wine for you

When offered a throne to sit on he took a donkey foal

And instead of messiah exalted he was placed in a hole

This Jesus never did the things we thought he should have done

In our eyes that is, but instead another victory won

In silence he was sentenced with a cry gave up the ghost

Then when they least expected it he surprised us all the most

He looked just like the gardener and he could walk through walls

Disappear and reappear to those hiding doubting fools

Jesus did some strange things while walking in the land

The strangest of them all was he did it all for man.

Seven Days Makes One Weak.

(how many song titles and singers who sang song with titles about the days of the week can you spot in here?)

What is it about Mondays that always gets bad press?

We should always love a start don’t mind I confess

But Bob did not like Mondays and New Order called them Blue

The Bangles said they were manic and if you work that’s true

Karen sang of rainy days and T-Bone of a storm

Is this really how we feel on a Monday morn?

The Mamas and the Pappas at least they sang two times

But still it gets bad reviews as you can see from my rhyme

While Tuesdays get all ruby and Wednesdays worth waiting for

The Pet Shop Boys sand Thursday and left us wanting more

And as for freaky Friday it really has a Cure

I’m in love they sang for us while Katy wanted more

Last Friday night she said she’d do it all again

Kanye said it was good the Kings forever and amen

Then Saturday we’re dancing with Chicago in the park

And the night is loved by Whigfield, Blue Nile, Suede and Bark,

It may be alright for fighting but Sunday is soon here

The morning comes with Velvet and a morning call is near

Sunday morning coming down sang Cash in his deep sound

And lazy sang Lionel with a girl called Debbie round

That brings us back to Monday and time for work again

But does it deserve to get bad press and always get linked to rain.


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