Silence S’il Vous Plait.
Since the end of November I have hardly written anything on here, just a couple of brief thoughts and then disappearing again. Also over the past couple of months I have curbed back on my Facebook entries as well, posting very sporadically and only when I really wanted to say something. To some that may still be too much, lol, but personally it has been quite liberating to take stock, ponder, live, engage more in relational dialogue and discover that there is a place where people care more about who you are than what you think or do. This place is very much off the public radar. It is away from the place of daily updating status’s and weekly blogging. It is the place of silent supporters and true relationships. It is interesting that I could count on one hand the amount of people that stuck around and continued to see how we were are care for us. Not that I am looking for that, and I know some of you out there love us dearly and unconditionally, but many just want the next word in season or blog or testimony of something great going on. Something great did go on. I lived, talked, breathed, laughed, walked, worked, slept. Amazing concepts that find total fulfilment off the radar. The place where silence is acceptable, and a blank page is celebrated. People who want to hear you laugh rather than you share anything profound. Want to hear you spout rubbish instead of making sense. The place off the radar is a place of finding yourself and losing yourself and finding yourself in never ending circles and squares, and it does not matter what state you find yourself in at the end of the day. Off the radar there are no demands to be the public you or the trying you, off the radar you are you, when you find you, and then more of you besides. It is an uncomfortable place for those who have lived the grid, I did, it has been, it continues to be, but I am learning off the radar is so much more fun. No judgement police or theological correctionists. Just people with a heart beat and connection into your life in real and not forced ways. People who I work with and talk with. My kids. My friends. There are no platforms built for me here or audiences waiting to know what I think about a subject. Just people. Many themselves off the radar of church and religious life, but criss crossing across my life as it is lived amongst them.
Out of My Mind?
Many from the church days think I am out of my mind to dwell in this place. They think I have lost the plot. If there was a plot I have gladly lost it. I am gladly seen as being out of my mind to find a dwelling in this new place. But I ask the question, living off the radar am I out of my mind or is it a case of no longer being on your mind. You can either choose to erase me or unfriend me as some have done, you can choose to ignore me and let me get on with my whim, or you can choose to totally forget about me because I no longer have the voice anymore and no longer walk your way or speak your language. It is easy to put someone who lives off the radar out of your mind and out of your life. I know this because I could play this game when I was a Pastor. If they did not attend and did not want to attend or went a different way, it was easy to write them out of the equation and no longer see them within the story. They were soon erased from my mind and the minds of many walking the correct way. It is so much easier living life to the full in the glare of the radar when those off the beaten track are not even thought about or only mentioned in derogatory ways. We can worship, sing, pray, read, preach, be oh so holy when certain people are out of our minds.
Why the blip on the radar today?
If living out of the radar is so amazing why have I re-appeared today? Why now? Why do a fly past with no intention of hanging around? To remind you of the voices of the margins. To remind you that there are others. To remind you that our silence is our strongest voice and yet words need to be expressed. To discomfort the comfortable and comfort the discomforted. To say to those on the edge of the grid, there is a world of discovery out here, you will not fall off the edge. The Spiritual life is not flat. You will not sail so far and then die. You may go through many metamorphosis of life but what is created is so much more beautiful than you could ever imagine. You can take hold of the page and write it yourself. There is so much hope, peace, joy, challenge, pain, but life and life more abundant. The radar wants to keep us in check and keep us in line and on the page, but there is a new page to be written that has your name personally written on it. I will come and go from this page, and enter and leave your mind, but whatever and wherever a life of opportunity stands before me and I want to grasp it with both hands. Time for the blip to disapp…………..