Just when I think I’m winning
When I’ve broken every door
The ghosts of my life
Blow wilder than before
Just when I thought I could not be stopped
When my chance came to be king
The ghosts of my life
Blew wilder than the wind
This week watched the fantastic horror, The Enfield Haunting. I like a good ghost story; dripping taps, creaking doors, sense that someone is there in the room. This ghost story was even more poignant because it was based on true events of a family haunted by a poltergeist. It was very haunting due to a young girl experiencing possession, and yet it was also very moving as we discover why this particular trail of hauntings take place. Regrets, fears, failure to restore a right relationship, not allowing to rest in peace. There was a time as a Christian I would have avoided such stories but now I find them stirring. As a young Christian I was invited to watch some of the old horror movies by my then youth leader, and participate in Halloween, but then the fundies get hold of the ghost stories and wanted to clean up the place. Thinking getting rid of the exposure to ghost stories would somehow make us free from the spirits. But recently I have had a resurgence in watching ghost stories and haunting series and films. I think we all need to understand something from these productions, we all carry ghosts. We all are haunted by something or someone. In the Enfield Haunting the ghost chaser himself had to deal with the real issue of his own ghost, the loss of his own daughter, whom he thought died without forgiving him. He carried his ghost. We carry our own ghosts too, or we come into contact with them when we face certain situations.
My Being, My Haunted House.
The ghosts of my joy, the ghosts of my tears
The ghosts of my glorious dissolute years
The ghost of adventure wilder than words
The ghost of the night I first made love to her
The ghost of a fiddle, the ghost of a sax
The ghost of a sound that ain’t ever coming back
The ghost of a friendship, curdled and sour
The ghost of a time when I still had the power
Mike Scott City Full of Ghosts
Events, broken relationships, failures, regrets, fears, all these things can become ghosts in our lives. We can become haunted by voices, either spoken or imagined. We can even be haunted by religion or Christian expectation, by a prophetic word or by a leader’s teaching. We can be haunted by the Bible and the lack of grace and forgiveness. There are ghosts that can possess our bodies, our minds, our own house. Sexual failure, moral failure, death, missed opportunity. The possible ghosts of our lives are endless. They can all hold us back from truly living. They can stop us being truly free. Trying to gain approval, or finding disapproval. What are your ghosts? When I look into my own house, after all it is good to try and get your own house in order first, I see ghosts of my mother. I see the ghosts of when she was alive, constantly living to try and please her and gain approval, and I see the ghosts of when I lost her to cancer. I did not make it home before she died and I carry the regrets of that, and the things I could of and should have said. These things haunt me. They are carried inside. I carry the ghosts of seeming failure within ministry and the scars of the battles. There are many church ghosts. Could I have done it differently? Should I have left when I did? Why did certain people let me down when I gave them certain positions of trust? These ghosts are within me. There are the ghosts of moral failures, and times I have failed my marriage. Ghosts of whether I truly forgive myself, never mind have others forgive me. This is just under the surface of my life. Already you can see what a haunted house I am. At any and every turn a voice can crop up, a disapproving word or thought, a sense of failure and unacceptance. Living in this realm can be exhausting and haunting.
Embrace the Ghosts.
The ghost in you, she don’t fade
Inside you the time moves and she don’t fade
Psychedelic Furs The Ghost In You.
Having been exposed to deliverance ministry and personally being invited into homes where presence was sensed, to be dealt with. Having used oil, prayers, water, Scripture etc, I am beginning to see a fresh perspective in dealing with the ghosts of our lives, surroundings. Embracing them and learning to live in their reality. Accepting them as part of your story and imaginations, finding healing through letting go of stuff like unforgiveness of self, and feelings of intimidation and fear. Accepting that these scars and voices are your ghosts to live with, and use them as a springboard for a fresh day and fresh way of living. Every experience I have had up to this point, good or bad, has shaped me. Every relationship, every failure, every doubt, every disappointment. It was mine to experience, and therefore it is mine to begin to find redemption in and through it. The Divine touch did not leave me when I allowed these ghosts in and it will not leave me as these ghosts remain. What can change is what voices I listen to and what I allow to shape the path ahead. Focussing less on the road travelled and more on the path ahead. Carrying the ghosts with us into whatever light we have may even cause those ghosts to diminish their hold on the rooms in our lives. We need to stop returning to entry points and moments of pain and picking at scabs. Living in itself brings healing, and silences the ghosts. Embrace, live, look ahead. We are all part of a ghost story.
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I return to the scenes of these crimes
Where the hedgerows slowly wind
Through the ghosts of Beverly Drive
I don’t know why, I don’t know why
I don’t know what I expect to find
Where all the news is second hand
And everything just goes on as planned
Death Cab For a Cutie The Ghost of Beverly Drive